Julie (diamondjul) wrote,

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Happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time.

I thought dreams were a wish your heart makes, right?  Well then I guess the dream I had last night was a nightmare.  But the funny thing is I didn't feel anything.  So I guess that would be a good thing.  And then the second part of the dream was just funny and random.  I love the way my mind works.  I also love how when you dream, you are always like really pretty/hot.  So then, I guess dreams are a wish your heart makes and sometimes you may feel one way in your head but your heart is telling you different.  Eventhough I think this time my heart made a mistake.  I know how I feel about this one.

So christmas break.  I was so insanely excited and yes I am really excited that my first semester of college is over and I actually have a chance of getting a B in spanish and I have good grades and everything is good.  But being home just one day already has made me realize how much I love it at school.  I was so afraid that I was going to hate it there.  Especially being away from my family, friends, and most importnantly at the time, Rob.  But now my family is pretty much non-exsistent, Rob is history, and yes I miss my friends but I have made new ones.  They can never replace my real friends here but they fill the void.  I seriously love it there.  I can do what I want when I want and sometimes I get a little bored but that's when I call Christy or go bother Cait or Alli.  Here I have rules again and no one really to just go bother like right next door (besides Jess haha).  And plus this whole parents serperated things is getting annoying.  Like ok, I am totally ok with the fact they are not together (I got used to that the first time) but my dad is being ultra paranoid about everything and like really annoying.  And they both "bad mouth" eachother to me and I am being made the middle man again eventhough I told them both I wouldn't do that this time.  And now it's only going to get worse because I am actually home.  It is just annoying and I know as soon as Christmas is over I am going to want to go back to school so bad it's not even funny.  I need somewhere to run away and hide and I am scared that I can't do that at Christy's now.  I can only hope that everything will work itself out.  It always seems to.

I will get over all of this.  I always do.  I never thought I was a strong person until I pulled myself out of all this skank I was in and made myself happy agian.  I really can take anything you throw at me and I am proud of that.

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